


Lost My Way

by knightinsourarmor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Dean, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinsourarmor/pseuds/knightinsourarmor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has closed the gates of Heaven and Sam has shut the gates of Hell. The monsters in the world are getting few and rare and as time goes on, the job of a hunter begins to fade slowly. </p><p>Dean soon finds himself out-of-place and lost. With Sam gone having returned to be with Amelia, the freckled hunter is left to re-evaluate his life and all the choices he had made. And all of the regrets he has left. Including never being up front about his feelings for an angel. </p><p>But while travelling around Dean runs into someone he didn't expect to see again and finds that maybe he can start over. </p><p>An alternate version to the ending of season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost My Way

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea not too long after the episode with Aaron. I really liked the idea of Daaron (or deanaaron) BUT I knew not many people liked it and so this one-shot never saw life. 
> 
> Now I feel like maybe it should get the chance it deserves. Like I stated in the summary this is a divergence on what happened at the ending of S8. No getting tricked by Metatron or Sam dying from the trials. Instead you get some angst but mostly happiness.
> 
> And yes this is past!Destiel. So if you came looking for Destiel you are in the wrong fic. This is mostly Daaron. 
> 
> I am sorry if I mess up on any of the characters. I am not sure how comfortable I am with Amelia and Aaron.

Dean had never thought it would have ended like this. 

It had been five months, three weeks, and ten days since everything had happened. Dean had counted the hours and the minutes the image of Castiel looking at him with a sad smile so ingrained in his brain. Now he was able to let go of it, if only slightly. He thought that maybe one day he would stop seeing Castiel in his dreams or in the crowds. Stop hearing the sounds of wings. 

Stop feeling his heart skip a beat when he thought that Castiel was there.

It was a good thing. Dean had to remind himself of that often. Nursing a bottle of Jack, he would tell himself over and over again that things are better now. No angels interfering. No demons coming through and fucking things over. Only monster left and without having to worry about demons, it was getting easier to take care of some of the threats. But it came at a cost that Dean couldn't completely handle. He had lost Castiel in the process of shutting Heaven away. He almost lost Sam to close the other end. Now he had lost him to something else - Love. 

It was a process being alone. Dean was happy for Sam of course. The last time they had talked over the phone it seemed that he was thinking of proposing to Amelia. Dean hadn't really met Amelia, but the way Sam talked about her, it made him think she was good for him. He sounded really happy and, although he'd never admit it, it made Dean's heart ache. Why did Sam get a happy ending and he only got remorse? Why was Sam able to finally walk away from the hunter life and make a family while Dean was left traveling, searching for monsters to stop?

Dean tapped a finger on the bar's counter. He glanced at the clock. 12:34. He had only been here for an hour and he already felt exhausted. It's what thinking like this did to him. He glanced around the bar. There was only a few others around. A cute guy at the bar caught his eyes and waved shyly at him. Dean felt himself smile and he waved back. There was no longer any reason for him to get so worked up over it. Not anymore. Fighting against it only caused him to miss the chance to be with him.

The other guy was smiling as well. He must have thought Dean would ignore him. It made the hunter feel a bit better. The thought of getting up and talking to the other guy entered his mind, but when he thought about it longer, he felt this weird sensation. What would it be like? Did he want to find out? With some stranger? Dean was never against sleeping with strangers considering all the women he had slept with over the years, but he felt this was slightly different. Maybe it shouldn't be. He could hear his brother's voice telling him to stop being a little bitch about it. 

Dean chuckled, taking a long drink of the drink before him. He caught the guy who waved at him talking with another guy now. They seemed to be having a lively chat. It seemed he had missed his chance. Finishing his drink, he got up. As he passed by the pair, he smile once more at the guy. A flicker of regret flashed over his face almost as if he thought he had hurt Dean's feelings by flirting with someone else but Dean just shook his head and left.

He got into the Impala but he didn't go anywhere. He looked at his phone wondering if Sam was awake. He turned it on seeing no messages. His fingers hovered over Sam's contact. He put it down and drove to the motel he was staying at. He had work to do.

+

There was the sound of a grunt as Dean removed himself from the other's person limbs. 

It was now a year, two months, and seven days since he had lost Castiel. Since he felt his heart break and felt the words "No. Don't leave me. I love you" come out of his mouth too late. 

The room was dark, but Dean was use to getting dressed in the dark quietly. The lump in the bed continued to sleep on as if Dean had not just been in there lost in the warmth of another body. The grunt was a weird sound to hear. Lower than he was use to. But Dean was slowly getting use to the differences between sleeping with men and sleeping with women.

He slipped out the door wondering if he should have stayed. As he drove off, he knew that he wouldn't have. He barely remembered anything they had talked about anyways, lost in the haze of alcohol. But boy did he recall the feeling of the hard body beneath him. The muscles tightening around him, rough hands moving over his body. He hit the steering wheel letting out a low curse. 

Before he could lose himself in any kind of thoughts, his cell went off. He grabbed it, seeing it was Sam and answered.

"Hey Dean." The way it sounded Sam was in a good mood. He could hear the noise of what he assumed were dishes. He must have just eaten. The familiar pain of longing rose up but he ignored it as Sam chatted on about how things were. He could hear Amelia say hello and laugh at one point. He finally met her only a few months ago. It was strange to see his brother so happy and comfortable with someone but it was relieving. After everything his brother would be okay. And he liked Amelia. She was pretty and smart and kind. Perfect for his brother. They way they were at ease with each other was a little annoying if Dean was being honest. They even finished each other's sentences at a few points in his visit. 

"So Dean we finally got a date for the wedding."

Dean had been overjoyed when Sam said he had proposed to Amelia and that they were getting married. "Good for you man. You deserve a normal, happy life."

"When is it?"

"It's in the summer. July 9th. Think you'll be able to make it?"

"Of course. Why the hell would I miss my little brother's wedding?"

"Well I know you've-What? Amelia! Ha. Stop it!" There was a sound of a chair moving, a shriek and then laughter. Dean was tempted to end the call right there but he stayed on the line. 

"Focus Sammy."

"Yes so we can talk more about it later. You of course can bring a date. If you find one."

They talked a little more and then Sam said he had to go. Dean sighed when he put the cell down. If he could find a date? The thought really hadn't even crossed his mind. He had considered that stag was the only available option for him. Go alone and then find some guy or girl and have fun. A date would imply much more than that and Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to do that.

He felt his stomach growl at him and he pulled over to stop somewhere. As he got out he nearly crashed into someone. 

"Hey watch it!"

"Dean?"

Dean looked at the person which whom he had almost collided with. He stared at him for a moment before it clicked in his mind. Aaron. Suddenly his face felt warm. He could clearly see when Aaron had fake hit on him. Looking at him now he slightly wished it hadn't been a ruse. Aaron looked happy to see him though. Well at the very least he was grinning so he wasn't unhappy.

"Oh hey Aaron. Long time no see."

Aaron nodded and there was this awkward tension in the air as if neither one of them was sure what to say or do next. Dean cleared his throat deciding to speak first. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"Ah."

Another awkward silence. 

"Well I was just about to eat. Care to join me?" Dean wasn't sure why he said that. He kept his company to late nights and bedrooms. Besides Sam and the occasional friend or fellow hunter, he didn't spend a lot of time with others. Aaron looked as surprised as Dean felt but he nodded. Dean could have sworn he looked actually happy about it but he was probably imagining it.

"Sure."

They entered the restaurant and Dean felt oddly nervous. As they sat opposite each other, they chatted a bit about what they had been doing. Aaron left his old town and moved here for work. He currently worked at a bar but he said he had plans to go into business. Dean talked about hunting and his brother's wedding. The conversation was light but it went on. They talked over the food as they ate and then decided to get coffee. The previous nervousness that Dean had felt was gone and he was feeling at ease. 

As they walked, Dean watched Aaron out of the corner of his eye as he regaled a tale about this drunk guy a few weeks ago. Dean wanted to enjoy himself more but he kept thinking about how he liked it when Aaron flirted with him when they first met and then how he said it wasn't real. How he wasn't able to confess his feelings in time and now he feel empty whenever he thinks of being in an actual relationship. God what the fuck was wrong with him?

Aaron stopped suddenly and turned to Dean. "Sorry if I'm boring you." His tone wasn't accusatory. In fact he sounded a little upset. Dean shook his head and patted Aaron on the shoulder.

"Nah you ain't boring. Come on we aren't that far."

Aaron nodded and they continued walking. Even if nothing would happen Dean was just glad to spend some time with a friend without worrying about what might happen.

+

One year, three months, and twelve days. 

Dean did not leave town. He was going to several times but once he got in front of the wheel of the Impala he found he didn't just want to leave yet. He didn't want to admit to himself that it was Aaron who was keeping him in town. The hope that he might actually like Dean. The more time they spent together, the more sure Dean became of it. Maybe he thought that Dean wasn't into it after all and was covering? 

He thought the biggest clue was when Dean checked out a guy nearby and Aaron looked startled. 

"So you are actually interested in guys?"

"Sure. I mean I've only just recently accepted I'm bisexual but you know. It's not a big deal."

Aaron didn't say anything and the conversation turned away from the subject. But Dean swore Aaron looked interested when Dean said that.

+

"So did you ever date any guys?"

This was not a conversation Dean wanted to have. They had talked about it sparingly like neither were sure if it was an okay topic. The days past and they were getting closer but there was this distant between them that neither would cross. 

"No. Just slept with a few. There was one..."

Dean couldn't finish his sentence. It was still too painful to talk about after all this time. Aaron didn't press. He liked that.

+

One year, five months and two days. 

Dean wish he could say it was much easier now but it wasn't.

+

"So do you want to go to a wedding?"

Dean had asked between bits of a burger. It was the first time he broached the topic. Aaron looked at him over his drink. He stared for a moment, looking confused.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

Was he? Yes. In the back of Dean's mind he was. He was wasting enough time dancing around dating Aaron. Even if they talk about it, there was no point in it anymore. But he still wasn't sure if this was the right thing.

"Maybe," Dean mumbled, shrugging. "If you want."

There was a moment of silence. 

"Sure."

+

It was at the wedding when things began to fall into place. Sam was happy to see Aaron again. Dean had wandered off at the reception. It wasn't that big of a wedding but it was nice. He just wished that so many of the people who should of been there weren't.

This brother found him at one point and raised an eyebrow.

"Aaron? The jewish guy we met last year is your date?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No I just...didn't expect it is all."

There was a moment of silence where Dean could tell Sam wanted to ask what happened but he didn't.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Both started to laugh. Sam them grinned wide which wasn't a good thing.

"So I guess he's your gay thing after all."

"Sam!"

+

It was nearly two years later when it finally happened.

"He was an angel."

Aaron stopped shifting through his mail. They sat on his couch the TV droning on. Some stupid reality show was on at the moment. Dean looked at Aaron nervously but he didn't dare think to stop. 

"I never dated anyone, not really. Not guys and not a lot of girls. But the guy I was in love with, who I wanted to be with. He was an angel. His name was Castiel. You know I didn't realize it until much later how much I cared for him. Things were always fucked between us like fate wanted to see us suffer instead of happy. And when I realize what I felt I avoided it. I didn't want to accept that I loved him. You grow up like I did you learn to shut those kind of things away."

Aaron had his full attention on Dean at this point. Dean kept on going, trying hard to look anywhere but at his friend.

"Well I held it back for too long. I missed my chance at being with him. He did a good thing. The right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier. I regretted it so much, not saying what I should've before it ended like that. I told myself I wouldn't do that again, but it seems I have. I've been too afraid to get close to someone again because I don't want them to leave."

"Dean-"

"But I realize that's stupid. I'm stupid. Really stupid. What I am trying to say is I like you Aaron."

Dean felt better getting it off his chest. But now he was anxious. How would he respond to his confession? Dean had never asked Aaron about his own sexuality. He has just assumed once they started hanging out a lot that he liked Dean too. But now it was the moment to see if that was true.

He should say the kiss was a surprise and it was. But he had expected it too. He deepened the kiss and in that moment he started feeling the things he kept built up slowly fade.

"I like you too Dean."

+

Dean wasn't sure how long it had been since Castiel left his life. Now he only counted when Aaron entered it.


End file.
